Recently I've been sending daily spam email to a few souls I've met throughout my life. The soul I've known the longest... is . I was only 19 when we met, and I hadn't had that 'I need to become a writer' moment when I knew him, but there was the beginnings of it there now that I reflect back, imagining how our old conversations went in that dorm room at .
Until I got to know Drew, being a writer wasn't a cool thing. It was cool to me, but I didn't think that anybody else felt that way. This made my desire to write a little more pure as I was less imagining how great i would feel if only I were a respected writer. At the same time, I had less desire to write. I kind of just saw it as a fun thing to do when I got really inspired or drunk. Sometimes at that age the two are indistinguishable.
Anyways, one decent thing that came out of spamming those few souls is that I'm back in dialog with Drew. It's happening through writing. We never got enough time In Real Life back then so we never got to really know each other, though we got along well during it. I could sense that a potential for a great relationship was there, but it would've take time spent, adventures had for such to have ever developed.
When he transferred to mid-year that time became impossible. He grew, I grew. We built our own lives in different places. We kept in touch here and there, but really there wasn't much to share.
Without this would've been the end. He and I have changed so much since there's no real reason to keep in touch. Without a shared pursuit, and without local proximity, there's just so many other people that we can get along with near us that we ought to spend time with those that we can feel and touch in real life.
But like the internet, writing connects us over great time, distance, and life maturation. Also it's something the two of us want to get really good at. so why not engage in it together. It was strong enough to bring us together to now communicate daily after over ten years apart. And if we keep going at it we can achieve two things over time. We might become decent writers and we might become great friends. If even only the latter happens, then that's not just a decent thing, but a great one.
Until I got to know Drew, being a writer wasn't a cool thing. It was cool to me, but I didn't think that anybody else felt that way. This made my desire to write a little more pure as I was less imagining how great i would feel if only I were a respected writer. At the same time, I had less desire to write. I kind of just saw it as a fun thing to do when I got really inspired or drunk. Sometimes at that age the two are indistinguishable.
Anyways, one decent thing that came out of spamming those few souls is that I'm back in dialog with Drew. It's happening through writing. We never got enough time In Real Life back then so we never got to really know each other, though we got along well during it. I could sense that a potential for a great relationship was there, but it would've take time spent, adventures had for such to have ever developed.
When he transferred to mid-year that time became impossible. He grew, I grew. We built our own lives in different places. We kept in touch here and there, but really there wasn't much to share.
Without this would've been the end. He and I have changed so much since there's no real reason to keep in touch. Without a shared pursuit, and without local proximity, there's just so many other people that we can get along with near us that we ought to spend time with those that we can feel and touch in real life.
But like the internet, writing connects us over great time, distance, and life maturation. Also it's something the two of us want to get really good at. so why not engage in it together. It was strong enough to bring us together to now communicate daily after over ten years apart. And if we keep going at it we can achieve two things over time. We might become decent writers and we might become great friends. If even only the latter happens, then that's not just a decent thing, but a great one.
I think this writing thing is responsible for most of our friendships too. In some ways, I find that writing and reading daily for close to 3 years makes us know more about each other than most modern relationships.
I was recently thinking of writing about -'What is wrong with modern relationships.' The patience that writing and reading requires is similar to what a deep and good relationship also needs. But it looks like modern friendships is just another bullet on a to-do list without getting the time it deserves. But by writing and reading for so long, it is giving us a chance to develop a different type of friendship.
Fun fact that I'll share with you here. Remember last year or even the year before I wanted to submit three stories for publishing, but never did?
When I had made those goals back then I had no vision of the path towards the goal. I wasn't writing fiction daily and had no idea how I would get started. I just thought someday I would pump out three stories like that... but now that I've been in the game of practice long enough I know that's not how things work.
Now I have a clearer vision. still can't see the whole picture. Like I can't see how I will end up finishing the story, but I atleast am in the mode of doing everyday. Writing a little fiction everyday... and from doing it figuring out more and more what I need to know and discover to be able to write a story that I can submit.
In fact, each snippet I write becomes closer and closer to something that has legs... as in something that feels like I can just take and revise to finish. In the past all of my snippets felt like something that could never be a finished piece. Just practice snippets... sketches. but these days I sometimes write something and go -> hey this is just N-amount of revisions away from being an actual piece.
It's funny because back in the day when none of my snippets would feel like something revisable to completion, I still cherished everything desperately... like I clinged onto every little bit of ficiton that I wrote... hopping THIS is the one. i think this approach to writing was what made me less inclined to do it so often.
How can you show up to write everyday when today you might not be ready to write that good thing.... If you think like that you'll never show up enough times to actually get the chance to write that good thing.
Anyways, part of my vision for how I might complete something that I am happy to submit for publishing is fellowship. having here makes me feel even more in the mode of writing fiction. When comes in and out I notice I can keep my nonfiction going strong -- thanks to you and and the others on here -- but fiction... hmmm harder.
I might be at the start of a marathon, but I feel like I'm actually in the race this time. From writing fiction with Drew and just having conversations with him on here -- through comments and gift messages lol -- I sense that I actually have on running shoes this time. Actually have stretched. Before I was thinking about winning the race... but was laying in bed, sleeping in past the start of the race.
I actually think that fellowship of writing fiction will lead us somewhere this time. The place probably where we wanted to be over ten years ago... but to get a chance at it even this time around I'm grateful. I don't feel resentful at all that it's happening over a decade later.
I only worry that Gabriel won't join us. I feel like if he did we'd even get only stronger. I know is probably too busy right now to do it. That's the sense, I get. And is not emotionally ready. But with Gabe I think it would be a shame for him to have to wait another five or ten years. Whoever knows for sure they get that many years to flip the switch?
I have a story that i've only ever started, like 10 years ago, and have been so reluctant to make progress on it. part of me hesitates to do so here as it feels like i'd be boxed into not editing it but still wanting to make progress on it, so i'd be hard-committing to certain decisions instead of editing? but maybe that's fine just to get a draft out and walk through the entirety of the process?
I do have general expectations for continuing to develop the world of and the characters within it... which I'm doing in the "I found the diaries of Greco" series, but even with that I see it more as practice than a thing I'm horizoning.
Let me know if I'm thinking of horizon projects different than you. I'm interpreting it as the biggest, active project that you are planning to complete.
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Similarly to the saving hte best part for later fallacy that writers make, I think you should just write it through. Write it through because then the real part begins. Finding what's wrong with it and why it sucks.
Most writers seem to do a better job with fixing bad writing then creating bad writing. Most writers refuse to write bad stuff so they sit with their phone in their hands staring at or or motiviational videos instead.
Trust me, your story's going to suck really bad. No matter how great you think it is in your head. So get it out and then let's make it good.
I touch on this in
Also recommend the article that's mentioned in that post. In fact just read that.
i do lose myself to the staircase ahead of me pretty often. running up it first then fixing the steps is probably a good idea. choice paradox or whichever it is.
only thing i take issue with is "Writing too many one offs."
no such thing
Btw how are you enjoying running up while fixing the steps now that you're closing in on three weeks?
but that was hyperbole and 3 weeks doesn't make me think of that too much lol. it's fun, fun to have a thing to lean into again, that's not work related.
and i do not think there are too many one-offs. i think in natural course you get tired of them and want to contribute to something bigger, so there's a naturally-balancing course correction. but one offs are important for trying new things, for throwing out a line and seeing what could mature into a larger thing, or to get rid of a thought you've had swirling around for a while.
what would make you take the side of the Too Many One Offs camp? What would your main debate points be?
Also, muh jerb.